Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
