Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
