did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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