Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
