i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
