I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
