She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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