It's like God shit irony all over that family
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
