kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
