now i know why i became what i already was.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
