It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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