i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
