There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
