god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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