some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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