her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Barsexuality is the new black.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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