dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
