We won't sleep together?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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