What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
