She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
