dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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