Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
