i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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