So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
