I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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