jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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