Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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