Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
