I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
