oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
