in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
