I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
