Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
