Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
