I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
