last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
