Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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