nut hugger
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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