I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
