My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
