would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
