maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
