It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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