Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
