She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
