You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
