white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
