would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
