I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
