dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
